AcquiescedGloom

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 00:35:09 GMT

gahhhhh so many hot people XP

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 21:37:08 GMT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Teller, will you be my Valentine?
Omg, I am obsessed with Penn and Teller! Their show bullshit is amazing.
I'm in love.
They are the epitome of intellect and reason, yet combined with passion and love of what is important to them. They are the most moral creatures ever.
My new role models.
Teller, Will you be mine? ;)
I am going to name my children after them...when I have some like 10 years later. *sighs* :)

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 21:40:32 GMT

am i the only one that thinks it hilarious that theres a team called "the packers?"
lol god i cant believe no one thinks it funny but me

Tim

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 14:47:32 GMT

hmm, so, looking back, i was only happy about 5% of my time alive. That wasnt enough, and all my suicide attempts failed.
Now, I'm happy about 50% of the time. That's a major improvement! I'm trying to get better, I really am. I talk to my family now, I got rid of friends that hit me or brought me down with their negativity, I cleaned myself up with Tim's help, (I guess he taught me how to take a bath lol mataphorically.)
I got a kitten :D
The only thing missing from my life is true love and true friendship. So many people judge me and yell at me, and I just dont need them in my life. Yelling at someone never helps. What helps are those who can admit they're wrong, and treat you like a human being even when you dont feel like you are one. Tim, you've saved my life countless times.
I see you as a father, a gaurdian angel. Much like the one I pretended I had as a little kid, and kept me from just ending it then. You talk me out of suicide, you talk me out of hating, so that I can be the loving person I've always wanted to be.
You brought everything about me out into the light, repaired me, and made me able to like myself. Even though I still get in bad places, you tell me that's all they are: bad places. (I kinda feel like a drug addict visiting my drug dealer's hideout even tho he's no longer there).
Tim has done so much for me, I dont know how I could ever repay him. I hope when I'm a psychologists, I can help my patients the way he has helped me. I used to say I'd jump in front of a bullet for anyone, because my life didnt matter. That has changed, because I feel valuable now. I'd take the bullet if I got hurt instead of them dying, but if it's them die or me, I would be sad now about myself dying. But, I would most definitely take a bullet for Tim. He is the most wonderful person I know, and like Mrs. Bronsen said, I'm going to be Dr. Hallinan Jr. lol.
So I'm just writing this journal entry to express my gratitude. If I die in some freak accident before he gets to see this, I hope someone would show this to him.

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 14:00:20 GMT

ugh
lately food has been so gross to me. i have to force myself to eat. i just keep feeling so grossed out whenever i go to eat something.
i hope that feeling goes away soon so i can enjoy my food again. nothing sounds appetizing lately. and i dont really want to lose weight. just nothing sounds appetizing---except sausage. i could use sausage. ;) german instincts

mike

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:39:43 GMT

I'm loving living every single day
but sometimes I feel sore
I hope to find a little peace of mind
and I just want to know

and who can hear those tiny broken hearts
and what are we to be
where is home on the milkyway of stars
I dry my eyes again
in my dreams i'm not so far away from home
what am I in a world so far away from home
all my life, all the time so far away from home
without you I will be so far away from home

if we could make it through the darkest night
we have a brighter day (we have a brighter day)
the world i see beond your pretty eyes makes me want to stay (you make me wanna stay)

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 11:49:05 GMT

ive been doing pretty awesome lately. :) im starting to realize i do have some friends. so what's up with the bowling today, anyone know?
peace out
kate

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 20:43:37 GMT

(I copied & pasted it off of the website.)
Sacred Heart Medical Diet
This 7-day eating plan can be used as often as you like. If correctly followed, it will clean out your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well-being. After only 7 days of this process, you will begin to feel lighter by at least 10 pounds and possibly 17 pounds, and experience an abundance of energy.
SOUP:

1 or 2 cans of stewed tomatoes
3 plus large green onions
1 large can of beef broth (no fat)
1 pkg. Lipton Soup mix (chicken noodle)
1 bunch of celery
2 cans green beans
2 lbs. Carrots
2 Green Peppers

Season with salt, pepper curry, parsley, if desired, or bouillon, hot or Worcestershire sauce. Cut veggies in small to medium pieces. Cover with water. Boil fast for 10 minutes. Reduce to simmer and continue to cook until veggies are tender.

This soup can be eaten anytime you are hungry during the week. Eat as much as you want, whenever you want. This soup will not add calories. The more you eat, the more you will lose. You may want to fill a thermos in the morning if you will be away during the day.

DRINKS:
Unsweetened juices
Tea (also herbal)
Coffee
Cranberry juice
Skim milk
Water, water, water

DAY ONE
Any fruit (except bananas). Cantaloupes and watermelon are lower in calories than most other fruits. Eat only soup and fruit today.

DAY TWO
All vegetables. Eat until you are stuffed with fresh raw, cooked or canned veggies. Try to eat green leafy veggies and stay away from dry beans, peas or corn. Eat veggies along with the soup. At dinnertime tonight reward yourself with a big baked potato and butter. Don't eat any fruits through today.

DAY THREE
Eat all the soup, fruit and veggies you want. Do not have a baked potato. If you have eaten as above for three days and not cheated, you should find that you have lost 5-7 pounds.

DAY FOUR
Bananas and skim milk: Eat at least 3 bananas and drink as much milk as you can today, along with the soup. Bananas are high in calories and carbohydrates, as is the milk but on this particular day, your body will need the potassium and carbs. Proteins and calcium to lessen the cravings for sweets.

DAY FIVE
Beef and tomatoes: you may have 10 to 20 ounces of beef and a can of tomatoes, or as many as 6 tomatoes on this day. Eat the soup at least once today.

DAY SIX
Beef and veggies, eat to your heart's content of the beef and veggies today. You can even have 2-3 steaks if you like with green leafy veggies but no baked potato. Be sure to eat the soup at least once today.

DAY SEVEN
Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juice and veggies, again, be sure to stuff yourself and eat the soup. You can add cooked veggies to your rice if you wish.

By the end of the 7th day, if you have not cheated on this diet, you should have lost 10 to 17 pounds. If you have lost more than 17 pounds, stay off the diet for two days before resuming the diet again.

This diet is fast. The secret lies within the principle that you will burn more calories than you take in. It will flush your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well-being. This diet does not lend itself to drinking any alcoholic beverages at any time. Because of the fat build-up in your system. Go off the diet at least 14 hours before any intake of alcohol.

Due to the variety of digestive systems in individuals, this diet will affect everyone differently. After day three, you will have more energy than when you began, if you do not cheat. After being on the diet for several days, you will find that your bowel movements have changed. Eat a cup of bran or fiber. Although you can have black coffee with this diet, you may find that you don't need caffeine after the third day.

The basic fat burning soup can be eaten anytime you feel hungry during the seven days. Eat as much as you wish. Remember the more you eat, the more you will lose. You can eat broiled, boiled or baked chicken instead of the beef. Absolutely no skin on the chicken. If you prefer, you can substitute broiled fish for the beef on only one of the beef days. You need the high protein in the beef for the other days.

Continue on the diet as long as you wish and feel the difference both mentally and physically.

DO NOT - DO NOT
No bread, alcohol, carbonated drinks (including diet drinks). Remember, absolutely no fried foods.

DO - DO - DO - DO
Drink plenty - at least 6 to 8 glasses - of water a day, as well as any combination of the following beverages: black coffee, unsweetened fruit drinks, cranberry juice and skim milk.

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 01:55:51 GMT

why do people come to MY house, if they dont want to hang out with ME???

im mostly gothic..

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 21:26:00 GMT

[PREP]
[x] You own a cell phone
[x] You own a digital camera
[ ] You own something from abercrombie
[ ] You own something from pacsun.
[ ] You own something from Hollister
[x] You own something from American Eagle
[x] You like going to the mall.
[ ] You own an iPod/MP3 player
[x] You love/like Starbucks.
[ ] You hate buying things that are on sale
[ ] you own more than one house
Total: 5

[GOTHIC]
[x] Black is one of your favorite colors.
[x] You wear chains.
[ ] You like heavy metal.
[x] You've shopped at Hot Topic
[x] You have worn black lipstick.
[x] Your hair was black or is.
[ ] You dislike preps.
[x] You're an atheist/ satanist/agnostic/wiccan.
[x] you believe in anarchy
Total: 7

[PUNK]
[ ] you can skateboard
[x] You'e worn plaid.
[x] You own Converse
[x] you hate MTV
[x] you have/had/wanted blue pink red purple or green hair.
[ ] You dislike pink.
[ ] you hate/dislike preps
[ ] you play the electric guitar
[ ] you own something from Pacsun
Total: 4

[GEEK]
[x] You like the computer.
[x] You like/love Harry Potter.
[x] you are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
[ ] You get Straight A's
[x] You love/like reading.
[ ] you dont care what you look like
[x] you have a curfew
[ ] You always do your homework.
[ ] You cant play sports.
Total: 5

[EMO]
[x] You have been depressed.
[ ] You have black rimmed glasses.
[ ] You like the band Taking Back Sunday.
[ ] You cry easily
[ ] You have been called emo.
[x] You keep a journal/diary.
[x] You have written a sad poem
[ ] You have a sad MySpace layout.
[ ] You think emo GUYS/GIRLS are hot.
Total: 3

[SCENE]
[x] You love loud music
[x] You love/loved the Ninja Turtles
[ ] You never walk anywhere.
[ ]You wear/wore slip-on shoes.
[ ] You like/love the band Norma Jean.
[x] You wear band t-shirts.
[x] People have called you a freak and meant it.
[x] You love to dance
[ ] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.
Total: 5

[Jock]
[ ] You watch/watched the Superbowl.
[x] You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
[ ] You collect your jerseys.
[x] You have/had had a special shelf for trophies and awards.
[ ] You have/had posters or plaques of famous athletes
[x] Your garage consists of sports equitment
[ ] You belong/belonged to a school team.
[ ] You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
[ ] Have a specific number preferred for your jersey
Total: 3

Which one has the most X's? Thats what you are

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:45:19 GMT

so, ive discovered i have borderline personality disorder. going to show tim the research ive done--i always wondered wtf was wrong with me. i never researched it cause i didnt get the name. now i do..quasipsychosis. not psychosis, but like it (quasi means kind of like it). on the BORDERLINE of PSYCHOSIS.

i didnt know there was a name for what i had. and i was completely turned off from it when someone i didnt like thought they had it, i stayed as far away from it as i could. but things have been crazy this weekend. another attempt failed...
but everything except being promiscuous and doing drugs in the symptoms of borderline is exactly me. i thought i was just this unhelpable lump of shit.
i mean, i was feeling alright for a week or two, but friday i broke down in enviromental science and cried. mr black just yelled at me "stop it!" like he thought it was funny or something.
meh. i thought no one could understand me. but then i found this research, so it makes me feel a little better.

and i was doing so well, too... i was acting sociable... "borderlines can keep up an appearance of being put together and competent and warm for years" yeah totally me.
i thought my suffering and crazy thought patterns were just me being an oversensitive shit.
but it's a personality disorder, resulting from an oversensitive brain and a neglectful childhood with what little contact i had was abusive.
at least thigns are going in a positive direction...
even though im a dumbfuck, stupid slut who should walk around in a potato sack and not disgrace the world with a look from my face.

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 02:07:37 GMT

StrawBerriSky (6:18:28 PM): nate here
AssassinatorGirl (9:18:27 PM): nate
StrawBerriSky (6:18:32 PM): yo
AssassinatorGirl (9:18:30 PM): u ok?
AssassinatorGirl (9:18:48 PM): sara didnt say nuch abt wat connnie did
StrawBerriSky (6:18:54 PM): just laying on the floor drawing and writing poetry
AssassinatorGirl (9:18:54 PM): ah ya
StrawBerriSky (6:18:59 PM): connie didn't do anything
AssassinatorGirl (9:19:03 PM): wat happened then?
StrawBerriSky (6:19:10 PM): she said seh thinks she set the life insurance to 21
StrawBerriSky (6:19:15 PM): i knew i shouldn't have had my hopes up
AssassinatorGirl (9:19:18 PM): y would she set it to that
StrawBerriSky (6:19:30 PM): she said she doesnt' think i can manage money
AssassinatorGirl (9:19:31 PM): call your fucking aunt
AssassinatorGirl (9:19:40 PM): psh youve proven you can
StrawBerriSky (6:19:45 PM): my aunt has nothing to do with it, but she might know the legal terms of it
AssassinatorGirl (9:19:45 PM): yeah
StrawBerriSky (6:19:54 PM): but she doesn't know the exact details of mom's policy
AssassinatorGirl (9:20:10 PM): u should get it and read it, it concerns you you have a right to read it
AssassinatorGirl (9:20:27 PM): so u feeling bad? cuz you were saying you wanted to be away from people
AssassinatorGirl (9:21:07 PM): u pay more bills than connie, you can manage your money
StrawBerriSky (6:21:13 PM): mom said she's going to get me in contact with the agent
AssassinatorGirl (9:21:14 PM): good
StrawBerriSky (6:21:25 PM): i told her i have the right to know
AssassinatorGirl (9:21:25 PM): ya
StrawBerriSky (6:21:34 PM): so she can't really argue with that
AssassinatorGirl (9:21:38 PM): yeah
StrawBerriSky (6:22:01 PM): we talked about my dad about half the time
StrawBerriSky (6:22:05 PM): i don't even know why any of it came up
AssassinatorGirl (9:22:03 PM): aw
StrawBerriSky (6:22:11 PM): i know i didn't stir anything
StrawBerriSky (6:22:15 PM): cuz i'm completely avoiding talking about that now
AssassinatorGirl (9:22:14 PM): yeah
StrawBerriSky (6:22:24 PM): don't remember
StrawBerriSky (6:22:34 PM): she asked me if i loved her
StrawBerriSky (6:22:41 PM): and she said when i looked at her i showed no love
StrawBerriSky (6:22:55 PM): and i mentioned how when you guys dissed her and my brother i'd get upset and
StrawBerriSky (6:22:57 PM): that i used to not
StrawBerriSky (6:23:00 PM): that i'd go along with it
StrawBerriSky (6:23:40 PM): but that i don't want to hear it anymore
StrawBerriSky (6:23:45 PM): because they don't deserve that
AssassinatorGirl (9:24:35 PM): i wish you trusted me to comfort you too =/ our friendship's really changed a lot. i hope this school year i can find someone to hang out with, like how we used to every week, someone i can tell secrets to, be intimate with
AssassinatorGirl (9:24:59 PM): i feel like my best friends are people i met online, and that's sad
StrawBerriSky (6:25:12 PM): gotta get out more in person
AssassinatorGirl (9:25:13 PM): i do
AssassinatorGirl (9:25:24 PM): you're never around to notice that
AssassinatorGirl (9:25:32 PM): luckily kathy and i are kinda friends now
StrawBerriSky (6:25:46 PM): yeah it's good to be friends with people you live with
AssassinatorGirl (9:25:58 PM): i want friends that arent caught up in themselves
StrawBerriSky (6:26:10 PM): don't look at me then
AssassinatorGirl (9:26:30 PM): sara changed you a lot
StrawBerriSky (6:26:35 PM): i'm pretty fucked over right now
StrawBerriSky (6:26:42 PM): lol no she didn't
StrawBerriSky (6:26:44 PM): that's silly
AssassinatorGirl (9:26:55 PM): yeah, well you changed very dramatically ever since you became lovers
AssassinatorGirl (9:27:16 PM): and you put your lover before someone who was there for you for years
StrawBerriSky (6:27:25 PM): that's because i'm finally dating another girl and i feel more comfortable with being male-type
AssassinatorGirl (9:28:01 PM): you forgot about all your friends
AssassinatorGirl (9:28:05 PM): pushed them all away
AssassinatorGirl (9:28:14 PM): i can see you only want to be around her
StrawBerriSky (6:28:26 PM): i'll be with her the rest of my life probably
AssassinatorGirl (9:28:25 PM): it's sad, cuz i never ditched you for my bfs
AssassinatorGirl (9:28:39 PM): yeah, and after this year you'll never have to see me again
AssassinatorGirl (9:28:48 PM): you'll finally be rid of me
StrawBerriSky (6:28:57 PM): that's silly
StrawBerriSky (6:29:16 PM): we're still friends and i care about you
AssassinatorGirl (9:29:20 PM): doesnt seem like it
StrawBerriSky (6:29:34 PM): well i don't know why else i'd sit and talk with you for hours
StrawBerriSky (6:29:40 PM): about anyting iwas feeling
StrawBerriSky (6:29:49 PM): i don't do that with anyone
AssassinatorGirl (9:30:04 PM): that was something you used to do with me all the time, that was barely a sample of how tight we used to be
AssassinatorGirl (9:30:10 PM): last night
AssassinatorGirl (9:30:20 PM): and i was glad to have it
AssassinatorGirl (9:30:32 PM): but it just makes me sad because i see we'll never be that close again
StrawBerriSky (6:31:09 PM): well i have to say that people change..
StrawBerriSky (6:31:18 PM): i've split my ways with tons of friends
StrawBerriSky (6:31:21 PM): with oregon
StrawBerriSky (6:31:27 PM): and lots of stuff
StrawBerriSky (6:31:36 PM): that's how things work a lot
StrawBerriSky (6:31:39 PM): but we haven't split
StrawBerriSky (6:31:50 PM): we're going to be going our separate ways soon
AssassinatorGirl (9:32:46 PM): yeah, and you used to say how wed talk at least every couple days, and still be friends---we dont even do that now if we do talk itll be like once a year or something when im nto there bugging you to be like "HEY LOOK IM SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND STOP OBSESSING OVER SARA AND FORGETTING ABOUT ME, YOU USED TO LOVE ME"
AssassinatorGirl (9:33:00 PM): im sick of feeling abandoned
AssassinatorGirl (9:33:33 PM): and i care about you but it's not returned, and that isnt healthy
StrawBerriSky (6:33:46 PM): if i'm not there for you anymore and can't satisfy your needs of a friend look for people who can do that for you
AssassinatorGirl (9:33:57 PM): i will, but i just want to know why i mean nothing to you anymore
AssassinatorGirl (9:34:08 PM): why did you choose sara over being my friend
AssassinatorGirl (9:34:47 PM): why am i the one that has to ask to hang out, and you are always asking sara to be with you
AssassinatorGirl (9:34:54 PM): you're with her like every day pretty much
AssassinatorGirl (9:35:04 PM): you have the rest of your life to be with her
AssassinatorGirl (9:35:21 PM): what about people like me and even sasha that you wont see as much after this year
StrawBerriSky (6:36:11 PM): a lot of times we're together we're trying to work issues out
AssassinatorGirl (9:36:39 PM): and i cant be of any support and you have to ignore me?
StrawBerriSky (6:37:00 PM): we've just both changed a lot
AssassinatorGirl (9:37:02 PM): you dont roleplay with me anymore either, you let her ruin your characters
AssassinatorGirl (9:37:07 PM): and kill them off
StrawBerriSky (6:37:17 PM): you're exaggerating
AssassinatorGirl (9:37:13 PM): i actually cared about them
AssassinatorGirl (9:37:31 PM): you havent changed for the better, unfortunately
StrawBerriSky (6:37:43 PM): in your eyes no
AssassinatorGirl (9:37:51 PM): i had low self esteem before, and i let you kick me around
AssassinatorGirl (9:37:58 PM): yes you were nice sometimes
StrawBerriSky (6:38:04 PM): kick you around?
AssassinatorGirl (9:38:07 PM): but it reminds me of how it was with my mom
AssassinatorGirl (9:39:08 PM): well you always took me for granted and you ignored me all summer, we probably got together maybe two times that it was just us, and only a few with sara or sasha or both around blocking me from you
StrawBerriSky (6:39:34 PM): took you for granted?
StrawBerriSky (6:39:59 PM): i'm a lot more comfortable with the person i am now on the inside
StrawBerriSky (6:40:05 PM): so if you don't like me, sorry
AssassinatorGirl (9:40:39 PM): i dont think anyone likes it that much, you're becoming a lot more self-centered
StrawBerriSky (6:41:10 PM): i'm self-centered right now because i'm tryign to discover who i am and am focusing on a lot of things with my future
StrawBerriSky (6:41:22 PM): you know there ARE times you need to concentrate mainly on yourself
AssassinatorGirl (9:41:23 PM): ya, so that makes it ok to ignore friends, right
StrawBerriSky (6:41:41 PM): if you're blaming me for things where no one should be blamed, that sucks
AssassinatorGirl (9:41:47 PM): what things should no one be blamed for?
StrawBerriSky (6:42:02 PM): if you don't like me anymore, find new friends
StrawBerriSky (6:42:06 PM): i'm not changing
AssassinatorGirl (9:42:19 PM): you never calling me? you ignoring me and ditching me for sara?
StrawBerriSky (6:42:35 PM): ditching means when i make a plan and ditch you
AssassinatorGirl (9:43:06 PM): ya, like when you slept all day at her house when you were supposed to hang out with me, you could have slept somewhere else
StrawBerriSky (6:43:19 PM): when i was drugged up?
AssassinatorGirl (9:43:19 PM): yeah
StrawBerriSky (6:43:31 PM): alright, you take the med and see how you feel
AssassinatorGirl (9:43:50 PM): so whyd you have to be with sara
StrawBerriSky (6:43:56 PM): apparently you don't know what i go through within myself
StrawBerriSky (6:44:13 PM): because i was too tired to get up and leave for a long time
StrawBerriSky (6:44:29 PM): i know you'd rather i be awake when i'm with you anyway
StrawBerriSky (6:44:34 PM): she doesn't care if i'm sleeping
AssassinatorGirl (9:45:03 PM): i used to understand, but it's like, you say you dont wanna be around anyone, or you're just sleeping, but then you go and be with sara even if you're sleeping you're still there with her and you let her try and make you feel better, which you never let me do
StrawBerriSky (6:45:29 PM): i opened up to you a lot last night
StrawBerriSky (6:45:34 PM): most of the time i don't need to talk to someone every day
StrawBerriSky (6:45:37 PM): about how i'm feeling
AssassinatorGirl (9:45:34 PM): you used to come to me with problems or when you were upset, now you go to her
StrawBerriSky (6:45:42 PM): i don't do that with her much
AssassinatorGirl (9:45:38 PM): you talk to her every day
StrawBerriSky (6:45:49 PM): not about my shittiness
StrawBerriSky (6:46:05 PM): she actually tries to talk to me about it a lot more but i don't want to
StrawBerriSky (6:48:31 PM): you and i are really different now, and that's ok to be developing into different people
StrawBerriSky (6:48:43 PM): and i'm sorry i'm not the person you like anymore
StrawBerriSky (6:48:48 PM): or the person that was with you all the time
StrawBerriSky (6:48:54 PM): and i'm sorry i don't really know you much anymore
StrawBerriSky (6:49:29 PM): as a person i don't think i can satisfy your needs, i can barely satisfy my own
AssassinatorGirl (9:49:26 PM): you still never explained why we never hang out together anymore
StrawBerriSky (6:49:46 PM): because it's not really the same because we're becoming very different from each other
StrawBerriSky (6:49:52 PM): sometimes it's actually uncomfortable
AssassinatorGirl (9:50:10 PM): i havent changed much at all
AssassinatorGirl (9:50:21 PM): i just care about myself now, thats it
StrawBerriSky (6:50:43 PM): i'm glad you care about yourself
StrawBerriSky (6:50:47 PM): i'm not like
StrawBerriSky (6:50:49 PM): OMG SHE'S NOT DEPRESSED ANYMORE
StrawBerriSky (6:50:50 PM): I HATE HER NOW
AssassinatorGirl (9:50:50 PM): you changed to obsess over sara and yourself i guess
AssassinatorGirl (9:50:53 PM): it seems like it
StrawBerriSky (6:51:16 PM): you should make plans with mike and for your future
AssassinatorGirl (9:51:15 PM): u only like depressede people so u can guide them to be how u want--it seemas like that sometimes
StrawBerriSky (6:51:24 PM): lol no
AssassinatorGirl (9:51:20 PM): i have
AssassinatorGirl (9:51:32 PM): we made all the plans already
AssassinatorGirl (9:51:36 PM): a long time ago
StrawBerriSky (6:51:59 PM): gotta have alternatives too in case something doesn't work out
AssassinatorGirl (9:51:56 PM): we dont have to go over it evry day to be sure like u and sara
AssassinatorGirl (9:52:01 PM): we do
AssassinatorGirl (9:52:09 PM): we arent dumb
StrawBerriSky (6:52:15 PM): actually i like people who like themselves a lot more, but when someone needs help i like to help
AssassinatorGirl (9:52:17 PM): just not obsessive
StrawBerriSky (6:52:31 PM): it sucks to hang out with people who just sit and mope, and i'm not saying you do
AssassinatorGirl (9:52:47 PM): well that's what sara does half the time
StrawBerriSky (6:53:03 PM): only when something's bothering her
AssassinatorGirl (9:53:01 PM): crying over not getting ice cream then feeling like shit the whole time
AssassinatorGirl (9:53:07 PM): yeah something's often bothering her
StrawBerriSky (6:53:13 PM): well like you said it's what makes her happy
StrawBerriSky (6:53:24 PM): and you said that mike went through it with you too
AssassinatorGirl (9:53:24 PM): she needs a therapist
AssassinatorGirl (9:53:34 PM): yeah but i was still able to be pleasant most of the time
StrawBerriSky (6:53:42 PM): we don't need to get into sara, ok
AssassinatorGirl (9:53:52 PM): and i didnt make every conversation about cutting
StrawBerriSky (6:54:08 PM): that's cuz he got pissed off if you did
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:09 PM): no
StrawBerriSky (6:54:15 PM): you always told me he did
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:15 PM): its cuz i have decency
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:22 PM): you get pissed at sara, doesnt stop her
StrawBerriSky (6:54:28 PM): you didn' twant to piss him off
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:26 PM): he got pissed if i persisted
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:32 PM): if i mentioned it hed just be sad
StrawBerriSky (6:54:41 PM): this is jsut getteing silly
StrawBerriSky (6:54:47 PM): point is, we're changing a lot
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:47 PM): you just dont care about me anymore
StrawBerriSky (6:54:53 PM): and i don't feel close to you anymore
AssassinatorGirl (9:54:58 PM): that's because of yourself
AssassinatorGirl (9:55:06 PM): you think you're too good for me
StrawBerriSky (6:55:11 PM): alright, i am to blame
AssassinatorGirl (9:55:09 PM): and you cant control me
StrawBerriSky (6:55:16 PM): but i'm totally fine with who i'm coming to be
StrawBerriSky (6:55:23 PM): sorry you're not
AssassinatorGirl (9:55:26 PM): yeah your family isnt either
StrawBerriSky (6:55:32 PM): i think you're very jealous fo sara
StrawBerriSky (6:55:37 PM): and that's why you're saying all of these things
StrawBerriSky (6:55:58 PM): i'm not good for you, so find friends that are
AssassinatorGirl (9:55:56 PM): i am jealous of her, but that's because you rub it in my face, always talking about her nonstop
AssassinatorGirl (9:56:04 PM): and you only hang out with her
StrawBerriSky (6:56:18 PM): it's cuz i love her and i want to be with her
AssassinatorGirl (9:56:21 PM): you said before you love stupid people cuz you can control them
StrawBerriSky (6:56:30 PM): LOL no i didn't
StrawBerriSky (6:56:33 PM): that' swhat my brother said
AssassinatorGirl (9:56:38 PM): yeah and you stopped lovign me, you only have the ability to love one person at a time a guess
AssassinatorGirl (9:56:42 PM): open your capacities
AssassinatorGirl (9:56:58 PM): your brother's right about that
AssassinatorGirl (9:57:02 PM): you did say that
StrawBerriSky (6:57:08 PM): nah
AssassinatorGirl (9:57:07 PM): that's why you liked jesse
StrawBerriSky (6:57:16 PM): well one time you said in the car, "i think i'm smarter than everyone else in the world"
StrawBerriSky (6:57:29 PM): and i was like
StrawBerriSky (6:57:30 PM): wow.
AssassinatorGirl (9:57:37 PM): well i am smarter than most people
AssassinatorGirl (9:57:53 PM): i certainly have more common sense
StrawBerriSky (6:57:57 PM): well you can think i'm some massive creature of intended dominance trying to herd every single person in the world, but you are SO wrong.
StrawBerriSky (6:58:17 PM): common sense to date someone who will never contribute to anything
AssassinatorGirl (9:58:19 PM): and emotional intelligence
StrawBerriSky (6:58:26 PM): common sense to think everything will work out perfectly with college and moving
AssassinatorGirl (9:58:43 PM): oh yeah, it's so bad to like people who appreciate life and arent doing anythign to detroy th eworld
StrawBerriSky (6:58:50 PM): it always bothered me when you'd cut in obvious places where everyone could see
StrawBerriSky (6:59:01 PM): lol it's about HELPING the world to become a good place again
AssassinatorGirl (9:59:13 PM): its so bad to love someone who doesnt OBSESS OVER FIXING PROBLEMS
StrawBerriSky (6:59:21 PM): if he wants to stick with a place that's becoming corrupt and just watch it get worse and worse
AssassinatorGirl (9:59:17 PM): that's the fault of humankind
AssassinatorGirl (9:59:36 PM): you try and fix problems before celebrating the good things
AssassinatorGirl (9:59:41 PM): so good things go unappreciated
StrawBerriSky (6:59:48 PM): i see many good things in this world
AssassinatorGirl (9:59:54 PM): he contributes to being a good person, and having kindness
StrawBerriSky (7:00:07 PM): and doesn't go out and spread it to others
AssassinatorGirl (10:00:06 PM): i never said it'll all work out perfectly
AssassinatorGirl (10:00:08 PM): yeah he does
StrawBerriSky (7:00:14 PM): so being a good person is usesless with him
StrawBerriSky (7:00:19 PM): lol he hasno friends
StrawBerriSky (7:00:21 PM): what are you talking about
AssassinatorGirl (10:00:19 PM): people coem to him for advice all the time tho
StrawBerriSky (7:00:39 PM): he shouldn't be one to give it
AssassinatorGirl (10:00:37 PM): friends are pretty stupid, hes right about that, emotional attachments with dumbasses is bad
StrawBerriSky (7:00:52 PM): lol talk about common sense..
AssassinatorGirl (10:00:51 PM): yeah he should, he's smarther than anyoen else
StrawBerriSky (7:00:59 PM): mike
StrawBerriSky (7:01:01 PM): is th e dumbest shit
StrawBerriSky (7:01:03 PM): i've veer herad of
StrawBerriSky (7:01:17 PM): and i can't believe your dad is just letting it fly
AssassinatorGirl (10:01:14 PM): um, yaeh you havent ever talked to him, you dotn know anything
StrawBerriSky (7:01:25 PM): all i've heard about him is bad
StrawBerriSky (7:01:26 PM): unless you say ilove mike
AssassinatorGirl (10:01:25 PM): mike respects other people
StrawBerriSky (7:01:36 PM): and never says a word
StrawBerriSky (7:01:42 PM): and is negative
AssassinatorGirl (10:01:39 PM): he doesnt impose his will on others like you do
AssassinatorGirl (10:01:42 PM): he isnt a control freak
StrawBerriSky (7:01:49 PM): lol
AssassinatorGirl (10:01:51 PM): he isnt perfect, but he's damn close
StrawBerriSky (7:01:57 PM): go bash me in your diary i don't need to hear this shit

oh boy, emotional woman, but wants to be a man. sad. doesnt ever want to admit she's wrong. she'll always be a little girl who is mad when she doesnt get what she wants.
she causes way too much drama.
and she signs off all angrily just because she has no idea
hopefully she'll get over herself, otherwise she'll be alone forever.

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 00:32:34 GMT

goals for the school year:
FRIENDSHIP
-find friends that want to be around me and care about me enough to trust me
-not accept friends that are cold and emotionally distant
-not befriend stupid people
LOVE
-be more interesting to talk to
-lose my virginity (pesky thing)
PERSONAL
-look and act like a total knockout, make every guy turn his head
-get through AP LIT with at LEAST a B
-go to a real party and see if it's really like they show in movies
-dont let depression get the best of me and make me do dumb things
-tone my thighs and abs
-get superstrong so i can lift cars :)
-befriend all of my previous enemies
-make at least 5 real friends to keep in contact with after graduation
-figure out what happened to past friendships that made them ditch me both emotionally and actually, and not let it happen again.

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:24:24 GMT

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 17:43:29 GMT

i really hate being the one that always has to call people. no one wants to hang out with me on their own =/ i need to find new friends this school year. i hope i do.

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 21:38:12 GMT

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.
You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.
People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.
But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are 90% Psychic

You are so very psychic.
But you already predicted that, didn't you?
You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others.
You're very tapped into the world around you...
Just make sure to use your powers for good!

Are You Psychic?

What Kate Means

K is for Kinky

A is for Arty

T is for Tricky

E is for Enthusiastic

What Does Your Name Mean?

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.
Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

Your Relationship Will Last... A Long Time!

Your guy is ideal, as close to Mr. Perfect as he could be
If you took this quiz, you may be doubting that...
Don't! No guy is perfect but yours comes really close
You guys will last for many years, as long as you appreciate him!

How Long Will Your Relationship With Your Guy Last?

You Are 10% Fake

Fake doesn't even come close to describing you.
You're totally natural, and proud of who you really are!

Are You A Fake Girl?

Start Hunting For That New Apartment

You two are ready to live together - and probably have been for a while
You're a perfect match, even if you don't agree on everything
What's important is compromise... a skill you and your guy have mastered
So head out to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It's time for your new life together!

Should You Live With Your Boyfriend?

You Can Make 85% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Admit it, you can seduce practically anyone. And sometimes you try just for fun.
You're a total heartbreaker that knows when to play it cool.
You are the type of person people go completely lovesick over. Just use your powers for good, okay?

Can You Make Anyone Fall in Love With You?

You Would Pick Your Boyfriend Again!

While the initial new couple spark has faded for you two,
You've built upon your attraction - and formed a deep love.
And although things are never perfect, they're usually pretty great.
So don't let your eye wander. You've got the best catch for you, at home.

Would You Pick Him Again?

You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones.
Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly.
Even if you're not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to.

Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic.
You're popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you.
Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

Your Life Path Number is 22

Your purpose in life is to use your power for good

Of all the life paths, yours has the most innate power.
Your power lies in your vision, and you must recruit others to help you in this vision.
You are able to be a great idealist, but you still have the practicality to get things done.

In love, you tend to be a big romantic - but you also tend to keep your distance.

You have a lot of potential, and it's sometimes hard to live up to.
Sometimes you just feel like slipping into obscurity and doing nothing.
You tend to be prone to dramatic emotions, until you step back and look at things honestly.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

You Should Get A Butterfly Tattoo

Sweet and sassy
For you, tattoos are a thing of beauty - not toughness

What Tattoo Should You Get?

You Are Ready to Get Married

You've done more than dream about the dress and the honeymoon
In fact, you spend a good deal of your time thinking about what makes a relationship work
And from your answers, it looks like you have the skills to say "I Do" and mean it
You've dated enough, learned your fair share, and you're ready to settle down.

Are You Ready To Be A Wife?

Your Fashion Style is Girly

You dress to look beautiful and show off what you've got
Dresses, skirts, heels... whatever it takes to turn heads
You love feeling like a girl in any setting
Even your workout clothes are cute and feminine!

What Kind of Fashionable Woman Are You?

You Are a Tiny Tease

You like to flirt and show off your body, but what confident woman doesn't.
You enjoy male attention, and you're usually pretty good at not leading men on.
However, there are times when you get carried away with your sexy behavior.
It's okay to use your amazing flirting powers for good - but never for evil!

Do Men Think You're You A Tease?

You Are A Blue Girl

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you.
You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.
If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.
You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What Color Girl Are You?

You Are Definitely a Hot Chick

While your little black book isn't as thick as Paris Hilton's...
You get the most dates of any girl you know
It's your whole five star package that attracts men -
Your looks, your charm, and your ability tie a cherry with your tongue.

Are You A Hot Chick?

You Are Bad Girl Sexy

Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot.
You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on.
And your badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you.
Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is.

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

You are Maryiln Monroe

A classic tortured beauty
You're the dream girl of many men
Yet they never seem to treat you right

What Famous Pinup Are You?

You Communicate Like a Woman

You empathize, talk things out, and express your emotions freely.
You're a good listener, and you're non-judgmental with your advice.
Communication is how you connect with people.
You're always up for a long talk, no matter how difficult the subject matter is.

Do You Communicate Like a Man or a Woman?

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need.
You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law.
While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top.
You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Never Date a Cancer

Clingy, emotional, and very private - it's hard to escape a Cancer's clutches.
And while Cancer will want to know everything about you, they're anything but open in return.

Instead try dating: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, or Aquarius

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious.
That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep.

Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily.
You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others.

You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves.
You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's Your Element?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

alright

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 07:19:17 GMT

im in love :)
with mike
with life
with fashion
with psychology
with happiness
with jalepenoes
with the friendships i have
with my body
with my personality
with musik

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 03:56:29 GMT

pills make me nauseous.

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 21:41:39 GMT

so that horrible birthday i had is over.
thank you Tim.
I have to go beat up Meriam because shes a whore. Mike is mine.

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:07:38 GMT

ugh i was on the trampoline with my nephews and their friend and they grabbed my hand and twisted it when i tried to get off because they didnt want me to get off, and now my finger is bleeding internally and externally and i hope it gets infected.
my sister was like "oh theyre just boys" psh what a bitch these kids are going to be murderers and abusive when they grow up. no means no. theyre going to rape women and shit.
fuck, i want to get my razor out but i had a good day so im not gunna do it.
ive found a direct link between being sad and feeling fat. when im sad i transfer my sadness into feeling fat. and i wrote this paper completely front and back about how fat i am. its actually rather funny. it hurts to type this==my finger is numb and it hurts to brush up against it. ow.
anyhow, im hoping i can relax with mike tonight and snuggle him up. im so glad its only us and no one can get in. were so tight we stick together :)

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 00:00:28 GMT

I get an F in life.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 04:02:00 GMT

Well now, I haven't written in so long. Ah well, My life has been insane. Lots has gone on. The past month I've cried almost every day. Whether it's about my mom, about Mike, about parents, about school, or about friends, I just cant stop crying. And sometimes it's not even a reason, it's just my bipolar-ness. Like the one time I came into work sobbing and everyone wanted to know why but it was just no reason. Tim's pulled me through a lot of shit. He's my protector and he's the father I never had.
Good things! My new friend Sasha is awesome. I have very few friends, so it's nice to have someone. She reminds me of me in a lot of ways, so I can relate. Plus she's not an idiot like most people.
Also, Mike's coming down for Spring Break, and we're gunna have some fun ;) ;) together. I'm going to take him all over the place. ;) He's got the cutest smile.
Lauren will hopefully get better soon.

I cannot turn my feelings down
Beyond my means to turn my thoughts around
Expressed in every word I will ever speak
Brighter than all the stars combined
More than the waters, earth and sky
All that I wish and all that I dream
No creed on earth can replace or provide
In my darkest hour, the comfort I'd feel
Leading me to see I can be more than I expect of me
My beginning and my end
The first and last air that I breathe
More than the sum of everything that I will ever be

Beautiful song. Arena--VNV Nation.

I cant decide what to make my answering machine say. Right now, this morning, i changed it to "There is no hope." becuase I was really depressed and sad and well let's just say you're either lucky or unlucky that Lauren and Mike exist.

"It's not for me to change what's wrong before embracing what's right"--K. Munoz

(I am not MOORE I am MUNOZ because I MARRIED MIKE)

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:12:21 GMT

"the more i see the less i know the more i like to let it go"

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 12:06:35 GMT

i wish people weren't afraid of me.
is it really that hard to express care and emotion for someone?--maybe i am special then since I can; I can say I love someone and what they mean to me without fear. I'm able to sincerely compliment a stranger. Guess that's why I'm good at joanns.
haha, my brother's friend came through my line friday and i didn't recognize her but she recognized me. and my brother was like "oh sarah came through your line yesterday and you didnt give her a discount" i'm like "she did?" he was like "yeah, she talked to you about your halloween costume" XDDD i'm telling everyone i'm being paul g hewitt but the point is i talk to people i dont know like they're old friends and i think that's a really good way to be. i wish i could make everyone coming through my line laugh :) or at least feel better.
i couldnt have given her a discount anyways, id lose my job, as much as id like to give a lot of the people that come through my line and are sweet discounts. i meant sometimes i can scrounge up a coupon somewhere for 'em but not often. hey it's october first, things are on sale and some of my coupons work now! i can get started on christmas presents :D
ps: julie, they said it's 18.99 to make it on a colored shirt, 15.99 on a white one.

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 02:26:21 GMT

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do